I have had enough of renting! This is our fifteenth year of renting and we have never been late with the rent, we are good tenants.  Only two weeks ago Luke got up on the roof and cleaned out the blocked gutters even though it’s the owners responsibility.  A kitchen cupboard fell off in my hands… owners responsibility… but we fixed it.  I have spent hours in the yard cleaning out the badly neglected, weed infested yard but who cares? Certainly not the real estate agent… he tried to slog us with a $25 bill for having the light fixture reattached even though it fell out wires and all due to old age and neglect!  Now he (the agent) is complaining that we pay our rent too early!!! We are two and a half weeks ahead on our rent and I don’t see the problem.  However the agent it always right it seems and now we are not allowed to pay our rent early… WTF???  I’m sure the owners don’t mind their wallet being fattened up early, what is this agent’s problem?

When this website was brought to my attention I had a lot of fun.  In fact I let my household duties slip a little while I checked out the sale history of all the houses we have ever lived in.  It’s so easy to use and is such a useful tool when looking at real estate to buy.  It shows you dates of sale along with the price, rental estimator function etc…  just about every property has a recorded history and you can find it all here. I even accidentally discovered my Aunt’s investment property she was keeping secret (don’t ask me why) and didn’t she chuck a tizzy when I was able to tell her the exact price and date of sale! HA HA HA .  You would have thought I had uncovered an illicit affair or something… oh it was golden!  I have to admit that my personality does weigh heavily on the antagonistic side so upsetting the family applecart was just another day at the office… I wonder what other things the Internet is keeping secret?

The light in our fridge has been broken now for almost two years and as Luke got a drink the other night he really could have used it.  Instead of  finding his lips wrapped around his water bottle he found himself sucking on the knob of Strasbourg I had bought.  I’d love to change the light bulb… but I don’t know where it is!

While wasting time on youtube the other day I came across a video on how to pick a padlock with just two paperclips, my interest was piqued. I watched as some young kid opened a locked padlock in just a few seconds, I was impressed.  I armed myself with a pair of pliers and a stack of paperclips.  I followed online instruction and  hey presto… I had my own tool set.  The only problem was that I couldn’t actually pick the lock, I tried and I tried but I just couldn’t do it.  I got more and more frustrated as I watched clip after clip on youtube, these KIDS seem to be able to pick a lock in a few seconds flat!  I made four sets of picks and pressure wrenches ( I even sacrificed a fork) but I still couldn’t do it! Luke got home after work and seeing the fruits of my labour spread out on the computer desk he said “You need a job”. I explained that I was learning a new skill because you just never know when you could find yourself locked in a room with only paperclips to escape… what I need…  is to be able to pick a lock!

So I see Pauline Hanson is giving Australia the ditch, well quite frankly I’m with her!  No longer is Australia the “land of opportunity” it more like the “land of bullshit and overpriced houses”.  Luke and I were looking at house prices elsewhere in the world and on average we were looking at paying four and a half times the average annual income… that’s acceptable.  Here in Australia we are looking at paying nine… that’s bullshit!

While driving around with Luke we came to a T-Section and there before us was quite a lovely house.  The following conversation took place:

Luke: Will you look at that!

Me: Yeah it’s not bad, it’s got a little courtyard for Lil.

Luke: Not that, lower your sights sweetheart.

Sure enough there in the front yard was a caravan,  which goes to show… you can take the boy out of the caravan but you can’t take the caravan out of the boy!

I love getting my hands dirty and spending time in the garden BUT the garden in our new home must be some cruel cosmic joke! After spending a number of years moving from one house to another cleaning up the neglected yards it looks like I have to do it all over again. My daughter was in shock as she first set eyes on the so called garden beds… weed beds would be a more acurate term.  The sheer size of the weeds are amazing, the photo above shows Claire holding a weed that actually bends over her head… it is in fact taller than me!  So yet again, it’s time to pull up my sleeves and get gardening but this time I can’t use weed sprays because our guinea pigs like to munch on the grass and flat weed.  It’s old fashioned weed pulling for me and for once in my life I’m thankful for a small yard!

Walking to pick the kids up from school the other day I noticed two Asian women (mother and daughter I think) walking ahead of me pushing a pram.  I shook my head and said to myself “Thank God those days are over”.  Then right in front of my eyes I got an eyeful of grandmother butt and the older woman dropped her pants and squatted on the sidewalk to pee.  I couldn’t believe it, is this an Asian cultural norm I am not aware of?  The woman then pulled up her shorts and proceeded to walk down the street.  I text Luke what I had just seen and he replied with “Sweet Jesus…she probably has dementia… at least she wasn’t taking a shit.”

Yesterday the kids and I heard a car screech up our driveway at high speed followed by a loud bang.  Fearing an accident we ran outside just in time to see the Australia Post parcel contractor reverse out of our driveway and speed off down the street.  At our patio gate stood a package we had been expecting, thank God it wasn’t fragile because this dude didn’t even get out of his car… he just tossed it at the gate as if he were a footballer getting rid of a ball.  The loud bang we heard was our new hard back book smashing against the metal bars. We were horrified and I wasted no time in ringing up Australia Post to lodge a formal complaint.  The guy who took my details ended up laughing when I explained what happened so I don’t hold out much hope for anything being done about it.

After two years and four months we have finally left our mold encrusted, mouse infested house and it comes as no surprise to find out that the owner is having trouble finding new tenants.  The real estate agent told me that the owner asked them what he could do to make it more attractive to tenants… the agent then went on to say “knock it down and build something decent”… but of course she didn’t say that to the owner.  I don’t feel saddened at all by our latest move, in fact it feels great to get away from all those housing commission houses and away from the late night partying and firecrackers.  The screaming kids next door won’t be missed one bit and I am even happy about the smaller yard we now have… less mowing for me! Sure the new house is as  hot as a sauna, has marks all over the walls and a bathroom basin held to the wall by liquid nails, but that’s ok… it’s a new chapter in our lives.  Hopefully the neighbours here will be nice, unlike the last house, we moved out with the truck then came back two days later to find one of our lovely neighbours had filled up our bin with wet clothes. Thanks neighbour! As we drove away from that street for the last time Luke hung his head out of the car window and shouted “so long stink town”… he took the words right out of my mouth.