I’m sure everyone has their own unique triggers that will drag them from a deep sleep. I can sleep through New Years Eve fireworks but if one of the kids sniffles or mumbles I’m instantly awake.  The same goes for cat fights and my chihuahua making any sort of noise.  The other night I was really enjoying an action packed dream filled with bad guys and car chases then all of a sudden there was an explosion of noise and I was out of bed in a flash yelling “cat fight” and racing to try to locate where my cat was being beaten up.  Then when I saw the cat window closed it hit me, I no longer have a cat.  She died ten months ago but still my ‘cat fight’ alarm went off in my sleep, so what on earth was that ungodly sound I heard?  Then I heard Luke say “What the hell are you doing?”  So I tried to explain that I heard a noise and I thought it was a cat fight blah blah blah.   It all became clear when he looked at me and said “I blew my nose”.  Not quite a cat fight but I assure you the sound was incredibly similar through the haze of a dream!

When I was young my father took me to a chess club and I really enjoyed it even though I really wasn’t that good.  Now my eight year old enjoys playing the game however she plays on the computer without the pressure of a chess clock and round rotations.   I walked into the room while she was playing and overheard her saying “Prawn takes…” My laughing stopped her midsentence and I took the opportunity to remind her that the piece was in fact a PAWN not a crustation.

If it isn’t bad enough that without a genuine miracle from God we will NEVER own a house, now the forecast is for higher rents (14% increase over the next 2 years), less rental properties and more renters in market.  We all know that means bidding wars for properties and prospective tenants with pets are practically eliminated from the word go.   So with this latest round of news articles on the doom and gloom my husband has finally come to see things my way… we are stuffed.  I know this because after he realised rents increase at a higher rate than his income does Luke exclaimed “Forget it, we are going to be renters until my balls are knocking my ankles!”

On my last trip up to Hervey Bay to see my mother I discovered that she had a home breathalyser and I thought that was such a fantastic idea.  Drink driving is something I have no tolerance for but at the same time I realise it is VERY easy to go over the legal limit of .05, especially when you consider that a can of beer is 1.5 standard drinks not 1.  Not being a drinker myself I wouldn’t use one but if you are the average Aussie who like to have a few drinks I can see the practical benefit of owning a personal breathalyser.  In fact I happened to witness the practical benefit myself when after a late night then an early rise in the morning my step-father and mother both blew .07… no driving for them!  I would have assumed they were OK to drive… well maybe not my mother.  I saw her holding a digital alarm clock up saying “what did she do to this thing?”   She assumed the cat had knocked it over and that was the reason the clock was making no sense but then…’ding’… she realised it was upside down! It may have simply been a “blonde” moment or perhaps it was the alcohol but either way… it sure was funny!

I’m not an AC/DC fan but my husband does enjoy a few of their songs so it’s only natural that our children have gravitated toward AC/DC as well.  They especially like the “T.N.T” song.  Add to this the academic lifestyle and I was not at all surprised to hear my eight year old singing “P.H.D…I’m a power load… P.H.D… Watch me explode”.

On the way to the movies the other day Luke and I drove past a stockpile of bark that was on council land.  There were the appropriate signs stating “Property of Brisbane City Council”  as well as “Do Not Enter” yet despite this there was a woman shoveling bark into her station wagon while her son played on top of the mound.  There was no way of misreading the situation, this was theft in broad daylight!  The funny thing about it was that right next door was the police station with loads of police cars parked out front.  So I suppose if the abundant police presence wasn’t going to deter this thief… nothing was!

Luke and I took the kids to Southbank for a swim yesterday but because we went to the museum first we had to use the public toilet/shower rooms to get changed… what a mistake!  As soon as the girls and I walked into the change area I must have turned pale and I’m sure I felt my heart skip a beat because smack bang in front of me were a pair of old nanna boobs as white as white can be.  There were women exposing their muffs left right and centre so the girls and I backed out the way we came and headed straight for the privacy of a toilet cubicle.  The three of us crammed in and shut the door only to be greeting by a disgustingly filthy toilet that stunk to high Heaven!  The last occupant must have taken a dump of the century if the skid marks on the toilet bowl were anything to go by.  The floor was covered in liquid and I’m just praying that it was simply water… lots and lots of water.   We got changed and hightailed it out of there to meet up with Luke, who just so happened to look as shocked as I felt.  He then told me of his encounter in the men’s change room which pretty much matched my experience.  Some of his actual words were “I walked in and the first thing I saw was some English bloke flopping it around in front of me… it was like a light house it was so white!”   We then made the sensible decision of driving home in our swimming togs so that we didn’t have to go back into the change rooms.  Next time I’m wearing my togs underneath my clothes!

While shopping for back to school items (yippee… oh I mean darn school starts in only three weeks) the store was absolutely packed with people trying to get a bargain on discounted Christmas items and like me back to school items. I was yet to see any real bargains so I took my three items and waited in line to be served.  Even though I chose the express three items or less line I was still waiting for quite a while before I was served.  While paying I noticed a woman with a pile of items in her arms walk straight past everybody in the queue to come and stand right behind me.  I heard the womans grand-daughter say “Nanna it’s three items or less” to which this queue jumping nanny responded with “yes dear but it’s ALL wool… that’s one item”.   I took my change and looked back at the queue to see MANY people shaking their heads and no doubt expressing a few choice words at this queue jumpers actions.  I’m no lip reader but I think I can safely say that what looked like the words “far queue” was in truth a little more colourful!

Dollar day at the video store is something I really enjoy, it lines up with my “never pay full price” policy. With the school holidays upon us it makes for very cheap entertainment, especially with DVDs like ‘Walking with Dinosaurs’ … three discs for only $1… bargain!   However being a Tuesday only special we hire them out and copy them for later in the week then delete them. It saves us money and I don’t think we are harming the movie industry at all because we would never buy a movie only rent and we do pay the rental fee… sure a discounted rental fee but a rental fee none the less. So this week while looking for movies it was a little crowded but Luke spotted a movie for the kids. Knowing that they had already picked a movie each he said to them “do you want daddy to copy that one for you?” As soon as he said it he realised where he was and lowered his voice.  He might as well have been wearing a t-shirt with “Dadda the pirate King” printed on it… it was time to leave!