You never know what to expect when you move into a new house.  We have now been in this house for six months and I have discovered why there was a packet of rat poison in the laundry, there’s a mouse in the house!  Actually it’s probably an extended family of mice and all their friends. The other day from the corner of my eye I saw movement, didn’t think much of it but then I saw a mouse run across our kitchen bench and jump behind the stove.  Now I had mice as a child and I love them so I certainly won’t be using poison on them.  Instead I have a humane mouse trap that locks them in a box once they step inside then I simply let them go outside.  I set the trap last night and at 2:30am I heard it close so out of bed I got and into the back yard I strolled to release my catch.  I opened the trap and out came four mice… four!  I was expecting to catch one at a time so this was a bonus.  I reset the trap and went back to bed.  At 6:30am I woke up to find the trap closed again.  This time it was only one mouse but that’s five in one night!  They now have a new home in my neighbours pile of outside rubbish.  I’m sure it’s not rubbish to him but between our fence and his shed are pipes, old kids pools, wood and old wire fencing. The perfect relocation site…thanks Stan!

This morning as I was making spring rolls I was listening to some music, great for drowning out the children’s bickering. The song “The Impossible Dream” came on, you may know it best as the song in the Honda advertisement above. I love this song, it’s all about striving for your dream even though it may seem impossible. That may sound strange coming from someone as pessimistic as myself but having a goal or quest or cause that would drive you to do the impossible is awe inspiring in my eyes. I’m certainly not claiming to be someone who would “fight the unbeatable foe” like the song states because right now the price of houses has got me beat but wouldn’t it be great to give our children the drive to chase their impossible dream? Surely while they are young we could light a spark in their eyes that would give them the determination and strength to never give up. It may be quite a task for someone as negative as myself but I sure would like to pass on something other than a pessimistic outlook on life. I think the world system will try to crush their dreams soon enough so as parents we should push them on to “run where the brave dare not go” and reach that dream of theirs. So long as that dream isn’t like my youngest… to be a flying unicorn!

The other day my two children were fully absorbed in their “Littlest Pet Shop” digital pet.  They looked like zombies sitting on the couch with their mouthes open staring at the little screen.  I asked what they were doing and my seven year old answered with “playing the pokies”.  That stopped me dead in my tracks, I couldn’t believe it.  So I went over for a look and sure enough both my five year old and seven year old were playing digital pokies! Perhaps Hasbro has a vested interest in the pokies market and to make sure there are gamblers for the future they are instilling the gambling habit in our young?  Just a thought! Why on earth did the designers of this toy include such a function? Thanks Hasbro, you are now responsible for a generation of slot jockey children!

I’d love to say that when I do the dishes I’m looking out at rolling hills and wild mountain goats but the truth is all I see is old peoples underwear. In fact from my kitchen window I can see two of my neighbours clothes lines and everything on them.  With no trees or shrubs to offer privacy my elderly neighbours can hide nothing… size, colour, style… it’s hanging for all to see.  I don’t mean to look but when it’s right in front of you it’s very hard to ignore. I remember the first unit I lived in, it had a kitchen window view of the neighbours back yard.  It was great because he kept a large vegetable garden and I loved looking out at all his fruit and vegetables.  I would watch his crops change with the seasons and the view made me enjoy the task of doing the dishes.  This current clothes line view doesn’t do much for me, I think I’d rather be looking at a brick wall than visualizing my my neighbours in their underwear.  How about you, what’s your view?

I remember having a great action adventure dream then reality set in and I was being prodded and poked and I remember hearing a very grim prognosis indeed. Irregular heart beat, infected ears, broken limbs, food allergies, immediate surgery with a slim chance of recovery. I wanted my dream back, I was at a pivotal moment Perhaps if I just close my eyes I can get back there and finish my dream. Of course that never works and instead of my dream I was left with the words of my surgeon ringing in my ears…”not good at all”… “may need to come off”… “this will make you go to sleep”. Then I needed to wee so I moved my body to get up but my surgeon said “mummy you’re not finished yet.” My five year old enjoys watching medical shows and her early morning play reflected it perfectly. One minute I’m dreaming the next minute my bed is a hospital theater and I’m undergoing life saving surgery. Let’s hope tonights dream with have a conclusion instead of me waking up on the operating table.

I was in the city today (another dental appointment) and I noticed a man lying down on a bench in the Queen Street mall. He was dirty and had plastic bags as pillows and a blanket around his feet. People were passing him without a second glance so perhaps he is a regular at that bench. I don’t see the homeless very often and the thought that people have their entire worldly possessions in a couple of plastic bags saddens me. I took the time to really look at him as I walked past but I sure wish I hadn’t. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, he had his right hand down his pants and was going for gold! The place was busy and here was this guy stretched out on a bench eyes closed and wanking. I stepped up my pace and headed straight for the bus, a city street where homeless men wank in public was no place for me.

Every parent of school age children will understand my frustration of head lice and nits. You get that dreaded note home from school asking all parents to check for head lice and treat accordingly. Then the cycle seems to continue for weeks on end because not everyone treats their kids immediately and once again your child comes home with nits. Sheets are torn off beds as a few choice words are thrown around. Towels are washed, headbands and brushes soaked in boiling water….AGAIN! The next few hours are spent searching through the kids hair looking for nits to pull out. I went through this routine two weeks ago and I am now going through it again. I thought I had covered everything but then I saw my daughters school hat… oh no! I didn’t have time to wash and dry it before school so I had to come up with another was of stopping this nit infestation from starting all over again. Ah Ha… surface spray. If it kills flies and cockroaches it’s bound to kill these blood sucking parasites. I turned my daughters hat inside out and gave it an all over spray. After airing out for a little while off it went to school safely treated for nits. If we gets nits anytime soon that can of surface spray may get an encore!

No one really knows exactly what causes premenstrual syndrome but it is commonly believed to be related to the hormone fluctuations. Every woman is different but for me those few days before my period PMS is strong and alive in this household. My boobs are sore and I crave chocolate, I have even looked at the dog’s choc drops longingly when my chocolate stash is depleted. Sometimes I get really bad headaches that last for 4 days on average and anything and everything my husband does annoys the crap out of me. He can’t put the dishes away correctly, his habit of leaving his P.J’s on top of the quilt instead of under his pillow makes me want to find a baseball bat and flog him within an inch of his life. My after dinner coffee may be fine the week before but in the PMS week, my husbands best efforts will never satisfy me. It’s either too sweet or not sweet enough, not stirred correctly or simply “crap”. Things that would amuse me generally don’t during my PMS days and life in general is doom and gloom in our household . It’s like a switch turns off once my periods are finished and I’m back to my normal self. TA DA… just like a magic trick!

I find child humour interesting. They can tell a knock knock joke that makes no sense at all but have their friend bent over in uncontrollable laughter. It’s like a secret code that we adults aren’t privy too. My
five year old came up to me the other day, stood to attention, gave me a sailors salute and then said “aye aye capsicum”. She then burst out in laughter and went on her merry way. I have no idea where that came from or why but it’s a good example of child humour. What a glorious time kids must have with nothing but play and laughter to fill their days, oh to be young again. All too soon they grow up and the weight of the
world will crush their youth and innocence and they will join the ranks of us adults. That sounds a little gloom and doom doesn’t it? What I’m trying to get at is these early years are precious and a child’s humour
may be puzzling but it’s a sure indication that your child is happy. So enjoy the bad knock knock jokes and laugh with your child… let everyone say “aye aye capsicum”.

You know it’s starting to get cold at night when the family dog wants to “spoon” with you.  The cold weather means hot water bottles and three layers of pajamas. Often you snuggle up to your partner, not for affection but rather to steal whatever body heat they may have.  You want to sleep in during the winter time and go to bed early. Night time entertainment consists of the whole family squeezing into one bed and watching TV in the bedroom.  Where as the summer nights mean undies and windows wide open to let in the breeze – stuff the neighbours – it’s too hot to cover my shame.  You wake up with the birds because it’s too hot and sticky to sleep in any longer.  Dinners of salads dominate the meal plans and ice-cream is served daily as an essential calcium intake requirement.  Winter is too cold and summer is too hot! I have always preferred Spring but Autumn’s a close second.  These are the only seasons that I don’t have anything to complain about.  My husband would say that I always have something to complain about and he’s right but you won’t hear a complaint about the weather that’s for sure.  Those two seasons I reserve my complaints for the housing crisis, unwanted puppy and kitten litters and irresponsible pet owners.  Food prices, childcare, housing commission and welfare cheats, they all get a mention.  Yep as sure as the sun will set I have a complaint for every season of the year.  In fact this post has gone on long enough, time to start complaining about that!