I am just absolutely sick and tired of people expecting women to enter the workforce once their youngest starts school. Children NEED a parent at home. If they come home to an empty house do you really think they are going to do their homework? Do you think their meals will be lovingly prepared for them? How about having time to help out in their classroom or a parent being able to attend sports day and school plays? You can’t tell me two full time working parents have time to do that! A house hold with two full time workers are stretched for time and something has to suffer…yes I’m going to say it….the kids suffer! Meals are rushed, homework goes unchecked and all too soon it’s bed time and the working parents have hardly spent any time with their own children. Sure they may earn more money but children need time and open arms from their parents NOT the latest toy and a big fancy house. Two income households may say they are doing it for their kids but they need to wake up and smell the coffee! The amount of money spend on childcare almost makes working null and void. Especially if you look at all the time lost with your children. Then think of all the added stress involved when parents are too busy working and have no time with each other. I would say a divorce is more likely in that situation than in a single income with a parent at home. You may not be able to own a home but you WILL have a happy home life. The worlds gone crazy…what’s wrong with just being a mum? No way Jose…I love my family too much to enter the workforce!
I am absolutely sick of lazy, pathetic, “I don’t want to work for the kids’ sake” BS spewing from them mouths of lazy, stay at home moms. Let’s face it – you can whine and complain all you like but you’re nothing more than a glorified prostitute. Yeah, yeah, being a stay at home mom is SOOO difficult. Between going to the gym, the zoo, the bookstore, and sitting in front of Oprah, I’m sure life is rough. Then after the husband is done working his 10 hours to keep you in designer jeans and plastic surgery to repair the damage childbirth did, you expect him to take over caring for the kids because you need to take a bubble bath. You make me sick.
Sorry you don’t like my blog… don’t read it! I don’t own designer
anything because my kids come first…love, security and a warm place to sleep. I bet you dump your kids in daycare and claim you are “raising” children.
Danielle…proud mother…no need to draw an identity from a
career…..mum is enough for me!
Danielle! Designer clothes? Gym? Plastic Surgery? Well, firstly where are you hiding these designer clothes from me and why aren’t you sharing? Secondly, Gym and Plastic Surgery why didn’t you ask me to join you? teh! teh! teh! I am so distraught! (Please read with a sarcastic tone implied!) I have to admit I nearly fell off my chair in laughter when I read all that! You do have to be kidding don’t you? (sarcastic tone implemented again!) P.S. Danielle if you have so much time to do such girly things why aren’t you coming to my girls night on Saturday Night? – Oh! That’s right it is family night!
Dear newtwist,
You are a moron! I have a child and have to work part-time to feed my kid and pay the bills. Stay at home mothers have the most important job in the world, they are the ones who shape their children into responsible, caring adults. If they are shoved from day care to before school care to school, then after school care and get no time with their parents how can the kids not suffer. Kids don’t respect parents that just buy them toys and don’t spend time with them. Also, kids that don’t have respect for their parents, adults or authority then grow up to be the low life that fill our society and jails. Spending time with you kids and teaching them to become responsible adults is the MOST important thing a ‘stay at home’ mum can do. Every stable adult that I have met has come from a stable home with a stay at home mum and a family that puts the emotional needs of their children first. I just thank God that my sister looks after my child while I work 3 days a week so he can still learn respect from my family and feels loved.
And for the record, I work and I don’t have designer labels, don’t go to the gym, can’t stand watching Oprah and wouldn’t be caught dead in a bookstore.
So once again for the record, newtwist YOU’RE A MORON!
Moron, eh? I suppose my PhD was granted because I was a moron. As for my kids, well I decided long ago that I didn’t want any. As a result, I don’t have any. I decided that further populating an already overpopulated planet with more parasites was a bad idea. What good can possibly come from accelerating an already declining balance?
Some comments on your (and your pathetic friends’) comments:
“Danielle…proud mother…no need to draw an identity from a
career…..mum is enough for me!”
Translation – I’m happy spending my day at the zoo with other as intellectually gifted as I. Don’t force me to think, I’m a mom.
“I have a child and have to work part-time to feed my kid and pay the bills.”
And, you, I salute. If you’re a single mom working to keep food on the table and a roof overhead, you are a trooper. But notice, you are actually working, whereas the writer of this blog doesn’t.
You’ll also notice that the original post stated going to work once the kids were in school. Where’s the harm in going to work part-time while the kids are in school? Where’s the harm in contributing to the financial health of the family? Where’s the harm in actually stimulating your brain outside of Dr. Seuss and Disney? Where’s the harm? OH, that’s right. The harm is you don’t want to raise a finger and deal with the stresses of the real world, rather you would like to hide away and let Hubby deal with all the real pressures.
Tell Oprah I said, “Hello.”
You know Newtwist, you should be quiet, you are just making a fool out of yourself in both of the comments you have written……
Poor sad newtwist…. i sense a little bit of regret on your part. Never knowing the joy of children, it’s sad. Your PhD means nothing, this is a blog about being a seven day mum – NOT and I repeat NOT a blog about how intellectual I am because of a piece of paper I have on the wall. Now before you start… my husband (whom decided with me I was going to be a stay at home mum) is a university lecturer. He has a bachelor degree, masters by research and a PhD, so don’t think I’m knocking you because you are an academic. I’m knocking you because YOU have no idea about the real world or kids! Stresses of the real world don’t even start until you have children….go back to your books newtwist… leave the real living to people like me.
Wow. Such convincing arguments. The classic stay at home mom argument – “My life is so hard. It’s so tough hanging out at the zoo all day. Kids are so great, especially when their puking and crapping on me. Anyone that hasn’t been puked upon just doesn’t know.”
Wow.
If I were to get personal about someone I think it is a sad reflection on a person when they willingly choose not to participate in the great joys of having children. I also believe that some people just say this becuase their circumstances don’t allow them to be able to have kids. It is a sad and bitter reflection on you Newtwist….To add to this it is a great deal of stress being a stay at home Mum – your job is 24/7 and you are responsible for tiny little lives as well and unlike in normal everyday jobs you can’t drop the A ball here or take your eye off the game – don’t dare tell me that is not stressful!
My life isn’t hard… I LOVE my life and my family. Being a stay at home mum is the most rewarding job in the world. When you die and you have no one there to grieve for you, you’ll see things my way. I assure you.
Oh, yeah. Must be a real hard job. Trust me, I know lots of stay at home moms and none of them have it tough. Like I said, I’d trade my work-a-day life for days at the zoo, Mimosa Mondays, and bon-bons on the couch during nap time.
As for having children so that I’ll have someone to grieve for me, well is often presented as the argument for having children. “Who’ll take care of you when your old?” is the typical way about it. That is usually emitted from someone also telling me how selfish I am for not wanting kids. Don’t you see the irony there?
If all goes well I’ll be hit by a bus on the way home. Then when nobody is there to grieve, it really won’t matter, now will it?
Oh and P.S. How can you comment on what it’s like to be a Stay at Home Mum and what exactly goes on unless you have done it yourself. I think you have no say here Newtwist because you haven’t experienced both sides of the coin!
In response, read my response, Angela. I know many stay-at-home moms, and none of them say that it is difficult. In fact, all of them say that it is MUCH easier than working. They say that it is an ideal situation with little or no stress. Unless you count getting puked on as stressful – I hear you moms like that, though.
I am not actually a Mum – which is why I don’t criticise other’s unless I have done it myself. What people tell you and what the true story is are two different matters! Again, not that I have experienced it, but, I also have friends who are Mum’s and it is not all about puking – comment when you have gone through it yourself, otherwise, keep your comments to yourself. And if you are a career woman I have heard that they themselves find it most difficult of all to be a Mum. Go out, have yourself a kid, stay at home then come back and tell us it is all just about puking and going to the zoo – sad, sad person.
Also, I go into defense when people are on the offence and they have nothing to back their argument with.
Interesting comment. In your last post (10:59 am):
Also, I go into defense when people are on the offence and they have nothing to back their argument with.
In your most previous post (10:58 am):
…comment when you have gone through it yourself, otherwise, keep your comments to yourself.
Also in the 10:58 am comment:
I am not actually a Mum
You seem to have contradicted yourself there Angela. You say to keep me mouth shut until I’ve experienced. You further espouse how great it is to be a Mom. Yet you admit that you are not yourself a mom. How is it that you can criticize me for not being a mom yet you can admit that you are indeed not a mom yourself.
Hypocrisy rots from within.
I couldn’t care less if I contradict myself or if I am hypocritical – now that it has been pointed out to you to go out and have a kid then come back and argue you don’t seem to have anything to say on this matter now, do you? So, my point has been made and that is all that matters to me….. Now, if you are the career person you claim to be why don’t you try to get back to work or to me it sounds like it is way too easy for you and you are not facing life’s difficulties…..hmmmm!
Angela said: So, my point has been made and that is all that matters to me
Yep, spoken like a true stay at home. “I’m all that matters, my biological crock is more important than anything, if you don’t listen you must be a chauvanist.”
Also: Now, if you are the career person you claim to be why don’t you try to get back to work
I am, and I’ve got my minions doing my bidding.
Actually, I don’t stay at home – I work full time – but again you have proven my point! Thanks, Newtwist!
Oh! The point being you are way off mark with your generalist comments and you don’t know shit about what you are talking about and …..well, I could just go on and on!
You could just go on and on but you have to change your rag? I proved your point? What point is that, the hypocritical one or the self-contradicting one?
Oh look at you with all your learnings! You’re so clever with your Peee aitch deee! Let us all bow down before you!
Dickwad.
Being a stay at home parent is about nurturing our little ones, educating them, shaping their personalities so that they don’t end up twisted, impolite, arrogant arseholes. Like someone I could mention. But won’t.
And, my little dear, it seems the prostituting is all coming from you. Working 9-5 (or longer, as I’m sure you’re dying to say), getting shagged to and fro just to take home that pay packet at the end of the week. You poor whore. No wonder you’re so bitter.
I said my point – not your’s! I am ending it at this because you are flogging a dead horse – you are getting personal and not arguing your original point.
Nope. You’ve proved my original point. Thanks!!
I find your comment very amusing!
Quote: I suppose my PhD was granted because I was a moron. As for my kids, well I decided long ago that I didn’t want any. As a result, I don’t have any. I decided that further populating an already overpopulated planet with more parasites was a bad idea. What good can possibly come from accelerating an already declining balance?
I teach my children to be environmentally aware so that they will conserve our resources. I would like to know if you are powering your computer on your brilliance and intellectual power. If your Phd is magically conjuring the fuel for your car? My children are learning to coexist in commensalism with the environment as trees use the Co2 we exhale. So what are you contributing to mother earth? Other than emitting hot air and contributing to glabal warming?
Katie Dawson, proud mother of 3 beautiful children
Newtwist … there is only one good thing that came out of me reading this blog … you do not have any children … for this I say THANK YOU … one of you is more than enough.
im sensing you’re jealous. are you infertile?
One of my friends, Angela, said to me hey check this out, and gave a link to this page.. At first when reading I was not that shocked.
But after thinking about I realised that, newtwist, you are a disgrace.
For someone on your position to be so uncaring and insensitive to other people is disgraceful, saying oh I have a PhD like that makes you so much better than mothers who dont work.
Congratulations, you are educated, well done you have a full time job, but how does that give you the right to judge on someone else and what they find most important in life. Everyone is different.
I work full time and I have 2 degrees, obviously not as impressive as you but I can see I have different goals and things that make me happy in life. But I do not judge other people and being a stay home mother would be an extremely hard task. I would find it difficult and bow down to those who can and have more than one kid! I am sure if I had my own kids maybe that would be different as having your own kids its completely different to looking after someone elses
I am pleased to see you say you would never have kids as to bring them into this world teaching them your morals would be disgraceful with how much disrespect you have for other people.
I can understand why someone would not want to enter the workforce after all you have said and how terrible you have made people like you look!
I think this the perfect time for us all to listen to Ben Lee and his wise words! ‘We are all in this together’
After all your made of atoms and Im made of atoms….the difference? a piece of paper.
After much soul searching, much rage, and much disgust, I have come to the conclusion that I have been an absolute jackass. You all have been the recipients of some very serious anger/rage that I have regarding the issue of stay at home mothers and having children. Some of it may be justified or at least understandable if you knew my complete history of influences but I do not expect you to listen to my history. Nor do I expect anyone to accept this apology, but merely to realize that it has been offered. I also offer that I will not spew forth such anger in this forum or another like it in the future. I will rather try to temper my anger and participate in a more healthy debate.
My apologies to all of those involved.
Your response gave me the knowledge that I already suspected…you don’t have kids! Therefore, even with your PhD, you are NOT qualified or experienced to even enter into a discussion and judge something that you know NOTHING about!. Why don’t you go tell NASA how to train their astronauts…honestly!
Not working and raising your kids is a choice to put your kids first. It’s the same as you choosing not to have kids, which is a decision that I respect because I don’t believe people should have kids just for the sake of having them.
I am a single mum working part-time for my child but if I had the choice I would to be at home raising my kid full-time. I don’t have that option but I respect and take my hat off to all the women who can and chose to.
Have a career is nothing compared to raising kids. Before having kids I was a career woman, living overseas living the high life! I thought that wanted to keep my career but then I realised it was all just pride and my child comes first.
You may know a lot of stay at home mums that obviously have a decent amount of money to be able to wear designer labels, watch Oprah, to the gym etc. If that’s the case, I feel sorry for their kids because it’s not right to put yourself before the kids. Spending time with them and nurturing them should be the priority.
Just so you know, motherhood is more than being puked up on!
I think that most of us that are outraged with your response are the families who have sacrificed having the expensive cars, careers, the designer labels, the latest electronic devise, the big house, the trips overseas and watching the daily crappy shows like Oprah all for our children. And at the end of the day none of those things are important anyway. We all know that our kids will never thank us for giving up these things and neither should they. We are their parents and that’s what parents do. We will however have responsible caring children that grow up to be decent members of society because we took the time to care and raise them properly!
I think it took a lot of courage to apologise the way you do. I’m glad you did!
Once again another example of seeking attention and getting a reaction. You’re the type of person that does it in front of the computer screen and not in public for all to see – clever. Hope you have had fun stirring decent people up just to get off and then off course there is the big SORRY. You dont deserve to have children. Sad sad human being you are. For god sake get a life, have a vokda, get laid and enjoy what you have.
Dee,
Your criticism is certainly justified. As I mentioned in my apology, I do not expect anyone to accept it, rather I realized that my original posts were me lashing out at others with a lot of anger that I have related to this subject. Also I do not expect that me issuing an apology justifies anything I said, nor does it redeem me from my actions. You are absolutely correct that the mask of the internet provides a clean way of doing this, but it in no way justifies any of the inflammatory statements that I made. I promise to you, the original blogger, and all those who have posted responses to me, that I will not be inflammatory like that again here or elsewhere.
As for seeking attention, perhaps that is a valid assessment, but I assure you it was not my intention to post such hateful, rage filled comments and then think I could get away cleanly by simply issuing an apology. In fact, I believe my apology is truly too little, too late. There are numerous other responses to me that are equally hateful and personally attacking. I accept that those response were reactionary to my original post and I take full responsibility for the negative discussion that took place here.
Finally, I absolutely want everyone to know that I am truly sorry for my original statements. I will respectfully bow out of any further discussions unless I am requested to participate. I have no delusions that my departure is anything other than welcome and appreciated.
Newtwist, are you bipolar?