First day of school

First day

I remember my first day of school as if it were yesterday.  Let me start by saying that it is not a pleasant memory, in my minds eye I’m picturing dark storm clouds and all things evil.  It was probably a good day for most but for me it was a day full of tears.  It started when my mother had to leave, there were tears, there were screams, there was kicking and I clutched the railing desperately trying to avoid being taken into class.  I didn’t know these people and I didn’t want to leave my mother! I have no idea why but I also remember feeling like a rope in a tug of war game.   I can only image the internal struggle my mother dealt with as she turned her back and walked away.  Once in the class room the teacher said to the class that I was being silly so she made me sit up front facing everyone, that made it much harder I can tell you. I didn’t want to look at anyone so having to face all those children did not make my day fun.   It has forever been burnt into my memory!  So with that as a first day of school memory is it any wonder I am a little apprehensive when it comes to my own kids first day?  I was expecting at least a sad face looking back at me when it was time to leave my girls but I didn’t even get that.   My oldest simply waved me goodbye and that was it.  My youngest (more of a mummy’s girl) simply trotted off and joined the other kids on the carpet.  No kisses goodbye, no waving goodbye not even SAYING goodbye!  That was it, over in a matter of seconds. Thank God it wasn’t a big drama but I feel a little cheated…….I expected at least a hug!  Maybe I need the hug more than they need it.  Oh no is this a glimpse of empty nest syndrome?


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