That swift wrist movement resulting in upward pointing fingers and often a vulgar word for back up is surely an art form to be mastered.  It can say so much in such a short amount of time….pppppfffftttt….and before you know it you have been flipped the bird!  It has many applications:

•  expressing your dislike of a fellow motorists driving skills.
• A swift “up yours” to your partner when the kids backs are to you.
• communication across a busy crowd…..your point will not be misunderstood.
• Saying “thank you, have a nice day” to the police officer who just issued you with a ticket.
• pointing to something  but also taking the opportunity to insult…two for one!

I could go on and on but we should move on to the actual delivery.  I prefer the classic Straight Up delivery, a firm delivery sends a firm message.  However you may like to experiment with the Gangster Attitude technique.  You simply need to twist your wrist a further 90 degrees east or west (depending on which hand you use) in order to deliver a side ways insult.  Perhaps you could go Hard Core Gangster and extend your middle finger downwards….yep, point to the floor and let them know they are no better than the dirt you tread on.  Those of you who want to insult but can’t quite built up your courage for a full frontal attack, you may want to try the Hide and Seek delivery.  You probably remember this from primary school, simply hold your pinky down with your thumb.  This will leave you with three fingers extended……an insult in hiding.  Of course there are many variations used in many applications but if you start practicing now…..you’ll soon be a master at flipping the bird.

Have you ever been charged the wrong price for an item at the check out? Most of us have and sometimes we don’t even notice until we get back home. Let me offer you a strategy that will make you feel good about them incorrectly charging you. You see if you notice the wrong price being scanned and bring it to the staff members attention they will simply get a price check. Then you have to wait for that to happen whilst irritating the customers in line behind you. May I suggest that you let the transaction go through, pay the incorrect price, then simply go to the customer service counter and show them the item and your receipt and they HAVE to give you a FULL refund. Not a price difference on the item but a full refund! Work the system, profit from their mistakes and smile while you rip them off for a change. My sister recently purchased an item from K-Mart which had a mark down price of $125 however it scanned at $250. If that happened to me I would have paid then walked right up to the customer service desk for a full refund and walked off happy as Larry with my FREE item. However, she is not me so she pointed out the price reduction tag to the attendant who then changed the price on the register. What would you have done?

I hate the saying “110% effort”….or even just “110%”, unless it is preceded by the words “our income increased”.  It is simply NOT possible.  100% is the greatest possible amount of energy/effort you can put in!!!  There is no way to give more than 100% so why say 110%?  Ok, I’m not stupid, I know it’s to express that a person wants to go above and beyond, give it their all etc etc but it’s still ONLY ever going to be 100%.  Any thing less than your best is under the 100% mark and you will NEVER exceed it!!!!  Oh, it drives me crazy just typing this….it’s my all time pet hate!!!

I know it’s not unusual for kids to ask for their crusts to be cut off their sandwiches.  However my youngest has added a twist to the “crusts off” movement, she wants them left on her plate.  She will even eat her crusts first and then move onto her sandwich.  Isn’t this a little odd?  Don’t most children want to eliminate the crusts altogether not make them the starter?  I don’t mind doing it, I just wonder what her class mates will think of this new development.  Somehow I don’t think this is a trend that is going to catch on.

A little bribery goes a long way, especially if you need sleep. I use my kids star chart to monitor and reward their sleep but you can use a star chart for a variety of reasons. I have tried star charts and have gotten mixed results but now I have the secrets.  I want to share these with you so that you won’t have to go through the whole “trial and error” process as I did.

1. Location, location, location  Location is everything, your child needs to see the chart as often as possible in order for them to see their progress and strive to achieve their goal.  For us the back of the toilet door is by far the best location we have used…..while they are on the toilet they can’t help but to look at it.

2. Realistic Goals  You need to set realistic and attainable goals.  Children soon lose interest so you need to set short term goals as well as long term.  Our short term goal is sleeping through the night for 7 nights straight (allowing for toilet breaks)  and our long term goal is sleeping through the night for 30 nights straight.  I know it doesn’t sound long term but 30 days for a child IS long term.  They develop behaviour patterns quite quickly so in no time at all a true long term goal is achieved.

3. Correct Currency  Each child has their own currency, my oldest works hard to obtain $1 a week and my youngest would much rather a small toy – even though the value is the same.  That is their currency, money for one, toys for the other.  It may take a while to discover their individual currency but once you know it, results will soon follow.  Just make sure your rewards equal their progress….the long term goal deserves a larger reward.

4. Product Placement.  I have discovered that correct product placement can drive and encourage your child.  By placing my youngest child’s reward toys up high on a cupboard she was able to see what she was working towards. If she didn’t reach her goal then she could also see what she missed out on…..I found this technique a real success.  I could even use it on my oldest child even though her reward currency was money.  I simply showed her a nice shinny dollar coin, saying “this dollar has your name on it”.

5. Consistency.  You need to stick with it even if it doesn’t seem to be working.  It took us a whole month of crosses on the calender instead of stars but eventually they got hold of the system and they were off and racing.  In that first month we were tired and it just didn’t look as if the star chart was making an ounce of difference but I sure am glad we stuck with it.  You must also remember not to back down, if they didn’t deserve a star DON’T give it to them. They can kick and scream until they turn blue in the face but don’t back down…..you are the giver of the stars…..you are in control.

Well I hope this helps a few mums out there, a star chart may sound corny but used correctly it really works!

Now I know I’m not alone when I say that sometimes the last thing on your mind is shaving…… especially if you have young children.  You’re tired because you get up at the crack of dawn and pick up after the children all day, cook for the entire family even if the cupboard is dead empty.  There’s washing and ironing to be done, vacuuming and mopping and if there are babies to look after……you’re sleep deprived and the day is a blur.  If you are a working mum, long pants are a good option.  Brazilians may be “in” but nobody wants to see your European style legs.   My point is that if you are a busy mum you often come last in the “to do” list.  You can go weeks before finding the time to shave and when you do look down it’s a scary scene.  You have legs that are insulated and a state forest a little further north!  After two children and a vasectomy for my husband I’m not trying to impress anyone so quite frankly I don’t care anymore.  God put hair on my legs so why should I take it off?  Hhhhhmmmmmm…… do you think my husband will buy that?

When I say “blind people” I suppose that’s a little harsh because I’m referring to my mother.  She’s not blind as such, she simply needs glasses for reading. I suppose  as we get older things start to “break down” and assistance is needed.  It’s part of life, then we die (that’s something to look forward too!).  Anyway she told me about a special pair of glasses she bought….Dame Edna style…..fake diamonds and all.  She got sick and tired of going to the toilet, magazine ready but no glasses!  She forgets to bring her glasses every time and you can’t read what you can’t see.  So these brightly coloured pointy tipped reading glasses were purchased as “toilet” glasses.  The image of my mother sitting on the can with these tragic style reading glasses on is just a little too much for me…… so I’m sharing it with you.  Let’s just hope they stay toilet glasses and not work glasses.

We love books in our household, we are all bookworms to the extreme. The lounge room has five book cases, the kids room has one, the playroom has one, and there are cookbooks in the dining room/ kitchen area.  Then there is the toilet which has a magazine rack with books in it and bath books for the kids in the bathroom.  Oh and our bedroom is too small for a bookcase but there are boxes of books under the bed.  If we ever had a house fire this place would go up in no time.  Perhaps we should consider contents insurance some day? My point is however that you can own a lot of books and pay next to nothing for them.  We just went to the Lifeline Bookfest and for $26 we got 140 books.  The trick is to go on the last day when you can fill a bag for $5 in the unpriced section.  They also have a  priced section which they reduce to half price. Lifeline put on two bookfests per year and we just LOVE them. Our library includes well know authors as well as those hard to find rare “gems”.  For a bookworm the Lifeline Bookfest is the closest thing to Heaven on Earth.

As a stay at home mum I find that most people think negatively about that being an occupation. They make you feel less a member of society because you don’t have a formal occupational title. It’s wrong! In fact I have had to fill out forms with no allowance for a stay at home roll. It forced me to tick a box “not in the work force”. I’d like the person who wrote that form to see just how much work I do. Sure it doesn’t pay but it’s work none the less. In fact it’s more than a job because it is a 24 hour seven days a week position. So the next time I have to fill out a form which includes an occupation section I think I’m going to tick “other” and write stay at home mum. If I have enough guts I may even include a little attitude and write “one bad mother blogger!”

What’s all this crap about warning motorist about the Story Bridge speed camera? If you’re not speeding there’s no problem! I think police should position automatic speed cameras in positions undisclosed to the public. If you speed then you should be prepared to pay the fine, I sure did. I was caught doing 73km in a 60km zone. I was new to the area and thought the speed was 70 but that doesn’t matter, I still got 3 points deducted and a $150 fine. I don’t speed now, that’s for sure. Also, this whole argument that speed traps are just revenue raising schemes that should not exist is a load of bull. The police force is an organisation like any other and revenue is needed to maintain and improve it’s services. I’d rather see the police raise revenue via speed traps than the government raising taxes in order to create more revenue Let the people who are breaking the law provide the much needed funds!